Movie Reviews

The latest movie and DVD reviews

Ryan Reynolds is Buried alive

(2010) Ryan Reynolds (literally, that's it!)

Truck driver Paul Conroy is working in Iraq when he is attacked and buried alive in the desert. He only has a lighter and mobile phone to help him escape... bad times.

It’s amazing how a one-man film can keep you gripped until the end, even if it is Mr. Reynolds.

It was majorly intense, scary, a bit funny, sad and probably cost about 10k to make!

Definitely worth a watch if you're a fan of Living In A Box by Living In A Box.

Tue 05 Oct 2010 at 20:06no comments

The Social Nework AKA the story of Facebook

(2010) Jesse Eisenberg, Justin Timberlake, Andrew Garfield, Rooney Mara

It's the story about how social networking site Facebook was founded by Mark Zuckerberg & Eduardo Saverin et other geekaries.

I honestly thought I would rather shit broken glass than go to see this film, but I hella loved it.

It was funny, especially those twins, and who knew there was even a story behind Facebook, let alone one that was half interesting!

Maybe Half Arsed Reviews needs a bit of drama?  Any ideas?

Tue 05 Oct 2010 at 19:27no comments

Date Night for Tina & Steve

(2010) Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Mark Wahlberg, James Franco, Jimmi Simpson

Instead of just buying some thigh highs, a married couple from New Jersey try to jazz up their weekly date night by going to Manhattan but it all goes wrong when gangsters mistake them for some criminals.

It was reminiscent of the Eastenders episode where Kat Slater and Alfie Moon really wanted to have sex so Alfie goes on the rampage around Albert Square to find a condom. AKA ridiculous.

I just expected Tina Fey and Steve Carell to produce something funnier, but Marky Mark Wahlberg is topless throughout so it’s well worth a watch.

Wed 29 Sep 2010 at 20:49no comments

J. Lo has a back-up plan

(2010) Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Loughlin, Michaela Watkins, Anthony Anderson

Jenny from the block goes around the block a few times. Then when she’s still single she decides to use her back up plan and get artificially inseminated AKA the turkey baster method. Then after finding out she’s up the duff she meets a nice guy… uh oh….

OMG I love a good J.Lo rom com, she’s better at it than everyone.

However one gets to thinking that her back up plan was a little extreme.  To all the singletons out there, here are some tips before you go mental and get pregnant:

  1. How about salsa dancing
  2. Internet dating
  3. Speed dating
  4. Dropping your pen…?!

Look I’m just saying there are other options before you go for the turkey baster alright!

Wed 29 Sep 2010 at 20:492 comments

Twilight: The Saga Begins!

(2008) Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart. Taylor Lautner

Bella Swan meets Edward Cullen and they experience what is THE best love story ever. Until non-vegetarian vampires come along and try to spoil it!

This movie is the reason behind my Twilight Saga-obsessed life. It's so intense it's amazing!!! Why oh why can't my boyfriend be like Edward?

The only thing that annoys me is Kristen Stewart's shifty eyes.

Mon 13 Sep 2010 at 10:57no comments

New Moon: Jacob V. Edward Part 1

(2009) Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner

Edward does one so Bella turns to Jacob - who thankfully has cut his hideous mane.

Christ Jacob put your top on will you!

Mon 13 Sep 2010 at 10:13no comments

Eclipse: movie or book?

(2010) Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner

The Bella, Edward & Jacob love triangle heats up big style. They also fight loads of newborms vampires including one hot one!

God talk about leaving out the best bits of the book! Also, you don't see the Cullen's ill-fitting wigs when you're reading the book therefore I prefer it. And I’m Team Jacob.

Mon 13 Sep 2010 at 09:071 comment

Drew & Justin go the Distance

(2010) Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, Christina Applegate, Charlie Day

Justin and Drew get it on long distance stylee!

People giving 'Going The Distance' bad reviews are liars that:

a) have no sense of humour

b) have never been in a long distance relationship

It's exactly like real long distance relationships and the characters have really good craic!

I'm now gonna have a swift brandy because I relate to Drew Barrymore's relationship status. Not good!

Sat 11 Sep 2010 at 18:021 comment

He's Just Not That Into You - but he probably is!

(2009) Jennifer Aniston, Bradley Cooper, Justin Long, Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Connelly

Loads of different stories about depressed and pathetic couples/non couples/desperados!

All the Hollywood celebs in this movie will not take away the fact that it is utterly depressing.

If you're the kind of person who analyses everything in relationships, DO NOT watch this movie!  Its answer to everything is that he's just not that into you but in real life he actually might be!!

Sat 11 Sep 2010 at 17:20no comments

Rocky IV must break you

(1985) Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren

Rocky Balboa decides to fight the 'Siberian Express' AKA Ivan Drago.

In my eyes this is the only Rocky film that deserves a review.

 

It's a got an immense 80's soundtrack with montages that'll bring a tear to your eye and a classic training scene.

 

Erm ok I know all the others have that, but in Rocky IV James Brown turns up and cuts up a few moves and Rocky and Adrian have a pretty big argument too.

 

So what i'm saying is, watch it.

Mon 06 Sep 2010 at 20:581 comment